When you’re little, everything seems so simple. You grow up. You fall in love. You get married. You have a family. At least that’s what I thought life was like, but I would soon come to find out that, for better or for worse, nothing in the world is that straightforward. “Alternative” types of relationships are getting increasing media attention. TLC broadcasts Sister Wives, a reality television series featuring the polygamist Brown family, and open relationships and open marriages are not unheard of. But such does not come without criticism. In his book, Opening up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships, author Tristan Taormino claims some of the most common criticisms to polygamy include “the monogamous person is being taken advantage of,” and “the non-monogamous person wouldn’t be doing this if she really loved the monogamous person”. Words like “sexist”, “coercive” and “patriarchal” have even been thrown around, and many groups, including numerous churches, claim that polygamy is an “abomination”. But what makes it so detestable? Can polygamy really be considered unnatural?
No. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Cases where polygamy has naturally evolved are widespread and incredibly diverse. A vast number of species, we know, are promiscuous, meaning any male will mate with any female. But there are also many polygamous species, where a single individual maintains relationships with multiple mates. LiveScience published a list they call the “Top 10 Swingers of the Animal Kingdom”, species that break so-called norms. As one might assume, included on the list are lions, which are largely known to live in prides in which few males have mating rights to a large number of females. But also making appearances are (among others) walruses, African blue-headed lizards and bronze-winged jacanas, a tropical species in which females maintain a harem of males to raise her many clutches of eggs. Although not polygamous like the previously listed species, bonobos also make the list for their unique approach to sex. These promiscuous primates have been known to form short-term heterosexual, homosexual and even incestuous unions, and live in relatively peaceful societies. The frequent sex in bonobo societies is thought to “strengthen social bonds and resolve conflict”. Taking a look at the animal kingdom quickly shows us that monogamy is not the only answer, and promiscuity and polygamy are far from unnatural.
Now for my two cents. Individuals cannot choose to be a certain way, just like species cannot choose to evolve in a specific direction and what works for some is not necessarily what’s best for others. So ignore what your neighbor’s doing. Every human, just like every species, is unique and has their own way of doing things. That’s what makes life so fascinating.
The full LiveScience article can be found at: http://www.livescience.com/12963-top-10-polygamous-animals-bonobos-hyena.html
-Elizabeth Richardson
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